Man took large quantity of MDMA then stole boat 'because the swans don't judge me'

1. No memes or images. Exceptions may be made in the case of images of an ongoing news story becoming available.
2. User-edited titles are not allowed. Copy the headline directly and use it as the post title. Corrections in spelling or minor alterations may be acceptable.
3. News articles written over a month before posting must have the date of the article in the post title.
4. No paywalls. Use an archived link to post a paywalled article.
5. Translate non-English articles.

Phuksnews everyone!

Other News subs on phuks:

/s/USnews

/s/Worldnews

/s/politics