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So hear me out on this one:

As we all know, America just isn't the industrial power it used to be. We used to have factories everywhere, we made our own shit, people had jobs, it was all great. World War Two was the best thing that could have happened to us, because the sudden need to mass produce war machines brought new life into our economy and got us out of the great depression. After the war, we were the only country that wasn't bombed to shit, so everything had to be made here, which gave us all the jobs we could ever want. Factories were all over the place, things were made in AMERICA!

But then these fucking assholes in Europe and Asia had the AUDACITY to rebuild and prevent future major wars. WTF?! Now all our factories are gone, jobs are in China, and we don't need nearly the large scale military production we used to need, since we're only running around in 3rd world shitholes chasing around deranged fuckos.

We can't let them take advantage of our economy like this. America's interests must come first, so if we want our factories back, we need to invade China and Europe and start bombing everything. It'll bring our jobs back. It'll jumpstart our economy. The stock market will go crazy, crypto markets will finally die, and we will land on the moon again.

This is America, and we will be number one at all costs!

So hear me out on this one: As we all know, America just isn't the industrial power it used to be. We used to have factories everywhere, we made our own shit, people had jobs, it was all great. World War Two was the best thing that could have happened to us, because the sudden need to mass produce war machines brought new life into our economy and got us out of the great depression. After the war, we were the only country that wasn't bombed to shit, so everything had to be made here, which gave us all the jobs we could ever want. Factories were all over the place, things were made in AMERICA! But then these fucking assholes in Europe and Asia had the AUDACITY to rebuild and prevent future major wars. WTF?! Now all our factories are gone, jobs are in China, and we don't need nearly the large scale military production we used to need, since we're only running around in 3rd world shitholes chasing around deranged fuckos. We can't let them take advantage of our economy like this. America's interests must come first, so if we want our factories back, we need to invade China and Europe and start bombing everything. It'll bring our jobs back. It'll jumpstart our economy. The stock market will go crazy, crypto markets will finally die, and we will land on the moon again. This is America, and we will be number one at all costs!

8 comments

[–] Butler_crosley 3 points (+3|-0)

Sure it does. After we take out their nukes in a preemptive strike, nuke their large cities, and destroy their industries they'll be forced to buy American products.

[–] Mattvision [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

It's risky... but we need those jobs!

[–] Butler_crosley 1 points (+1|-0)

Suicide strike squirrels are almost done with their training, just need them to stop hoarding the acorn bombs.