I think the server is stable again and Apache appears to be fine. Still not sure what went on, but it looks like the script was trying hundreds of concurrent connections to draw updates it didn't need, leaving them open, and just adding more randomly for no goddamned good reason at all!
So, here's a vocal article from @nadeshda.
https://playguitar.gq/2018/10/16/measuring-sound-and-your-voice/
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