I have been the submissive in a 24/7 D/s relationship since January 2018. We're now married and as happy as ever.
I want this Subverse to be a place where I can share general information about such relationships. Or, at least how I and many others view them, as I've freely snatched many references and memes from the web.
This is also a place to ask questions about DS, a part of BDSM.
It's a funny acronym, BDSM. It covers Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism.
DS is not whips and chains and torture and extreme sexual activity... That's more in the realm of S and M or B and D. Which is not to say that the lines never blur. My particular D/s relationship is of the "DD/lg" variety, but we have lots and lots and lots of rope ;-)
From the Submissive's side, DS is about willingly submitting control over your person to someone whom you trust deeply enough to know that they would never knowingly cause you harm, and knowing that they will protect you no matter what. You follow and obey them and abide by their rules. Those could be to bring your Dom breakfast in bed every morning, to provide back rubs, to stand quietly, etc. Sex be might involved. Or not. The DS relationship doesn't require a physical sexual component and some don't. You follow and obey your Dom's rules or suffer the consequences. Abide by the contract (see, below).
For the Dominant partner, DS is bending and shaping the Sub to your will and whatever else your relationship allows. The Dominant partner set the rules, protects and guides the sub, and shields them from external pressures. Doms shape subs into better versions of themselves. A good Dominate partner abides by and does not unilaterally change the contract (see, below).
Again, lines get blurry and your perfect DS relationship can be radically different from mine or anyone else's for that matter. It's your relationship - you shape it. There are many variations in DS relationship power dynamics, too. Too many to list or for me to even know about.
A good way to explore beginning a DS relationship (besides knowing that you won't scare the person to death by broaching the subject), is with plenty of discussion, some research, and then deciding on a contract. Verbal, written, whatever. But it must be agreed on by both parties and then strictly adhered to. I mentioned deep trust, earlier. DS is a relationship built on trust. Screw up and it will end or it will become toxic. Just like a marriage does.
BDSM must be safe, sane, and consensual. Anything else is abuse, pure and simple.
Love ya,
Anne.
(P.S., Yes, I do have an active blog. But I won't share it with you. There is too much personal info there that I'd rather not connect to me here.)
(P.P.S., Thanks, Jobes!)
No porn. That's not what this is about. Nudity is permitted, but please don't start posting nudes just to post nudes.
I don't expect anyone to post videos. But, if you find one that's on-topic and not porn, feel free to share it.
Be respectful of other flavors of BDSM. Please keep discussions friendly and civil.
Do not make personal attacks on others. Not your job.
Do not provide us with your version of morality and why we're all going to burn in hell: You're a looney tune that I'll ban without warning.
Think what you want about how freaking stupid someone else's relationship sounds. But keep it to yourself.
Post SPAM to earn your very own permanent ban. New and Improved, with "No Warning" included, free of charge!
Please abide by the rules. I'll only give one warning.
Safety is number one...
Don't allow yourself to get hurt! I know how easy it is sink into it and let go. But you need to be very careful and be alert as to how "you" feel where the rope is. Lecia does a good job explaining the serious sorts of injuries you can receive. Some of it can be cumulative, permanent, and already too late once you notice something wrong.
So be very, very careful. Keep at least a finger space under the rope and tell your rigger if it's feeling wrong.
xoxoxoxo
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Learn about potential risks associated to rope bondage in order for you to enjoy safer and more satisfying experiences in or with ropes. Try Shibari Study 7 days for free and watch more tutorials on https://shibaristudy.com/
ABOUT THIS SERIES
In this course, Lecia gives you a general overview of the most relevant safety aspects you should know about before starting with rope bondage.
Although the content of this course aims to be as exact as possible, you might find varying viewpoints and information when doing your own research. This course does not aim to provide definitive answers or absolute truths about the topics covered, but rather to guide you and encourage you to consider and investigate further on all of these important safety topics.
TIME STAMPS 00:10 Introduction 01:10 Rope materials 05:15 Cutting tools 08:42 Self reflection 10:30 General safety advice 12:45 Anatomy : nerves and fainting 30:50 Personal Risk Profile 33:23 Consent and communication 37:58 Pain processing strategies 41:51 Psychological aspects and T.R.E.
STARRING Lecia: https://www.instagram.com/fushicho_shibari/ Website: https://shibaristudy.com/