#P R A W D A *Bringing the truth to all of the Motherland* Issue: Fall 1901 **SEVASTOPOL, RUSSIA** - Without provocation, Ottoman fishing boats have been intruding into the most precious hunting grounds for Beluga caviar. Thankfully, some brave Russian fishermen have been doing what Russian fishermen have always been best with - roughing up trouble-makers and sending them back. Czar Nicholas' II. proclamation about that event: "Sultan, I will not tolerate any more of this and call upon you to reign in your insolent fishers. The well-being of the Motherland is tied to the well-being of its Czar, and this in turn is tied to his ingestion of Beluga caviar. If the Russian bear grows hungry, he grows angry." **BELGRADE, SERBIA** - With shouts of "Deus Vult!" and "Remove Kebab!", the Austrian-Hungarian army was welcomed as protector from Ottoman incursions. In a public adress, Patriarch Inokentije Pavlović called for his Orthodox brethren in Greece and Russia to join the movement and enter a holy crusade against Anatolia. **TYROLE, AUSTRIA** - In an unexpected move, the 1st Viennese Tank Division moved into the border triangle to Italy and Germany. Our local correspondent Piotr Schuhplattrkoff describes the atmosphere as tense, but yet unresolved. It remains to be seen which side looses its nerves and turns to intrusion, or if that matter can yet be resolved peacefully. **ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA** - There is a well-paid job opportunity for Swedish-speakers. Sailing experience preferred. Anyone interested should report to the docks of the 1st St Petersburg Navy.