@Jobes mentioned having never thought of calling a dream an asshole which reminded me of something a friend of mine and I have in common. Other than dreams and most everything else, I read into the characteristics of a room quite a bit. If I leave a room I may not turn the lights or music off so as to not disturb the mood/ambiance of the room and any time I move I "pour one out" so to speak for each room as it's identity to me dies.
What about you phukkers, have any named objects in your house? Any gadgets you don't want to upset? Some knickknacks that definitely have an attitude?
My riding mower. I'm always cursing it or asking it to behave.