My feelings about death come and go. Sometimes I convince myself that it would be fine, everything would be fine if I died... other times, I feel like it would be a very, very bad thing for those left in my wake. Sometimes I'm not scared of what lies beyond, usually when I convince myself that there is a consciousness beyond life. Sometimes I'm terrified, usually when I convince myself that there is nothingness and I just cease to exist in any form.
Fuck. Death is too uncertain and that's terrifying. At this point I'm not suicidal because of that fact.
In a related vein, I often do this thing where I kind of step outside my conscious and look around, consider that everything around me is actually real or perhaps that it's not. When I do this, I'm no longer mentally part of my life up to that point... just kind of stepping back and taking a look around. It's weird and takes me a little bit to snap back to reality.
Not very often. I used to think about it a lot a few years ago, particularly during periods of heavy drug use, but thinking about it made me feel anxious so I just decided not to anymore.
Fairly often, but deluding yourself in to believing that effective immortality will exist in our life time, or at the least cyro tech will advance and my body can wait it out and be brought back certainly helps.
Also alcohol
As for living line I'm going to door tomorrow,no I'm in it for the long game
This morning I was thinking that suicide would keep me from having to get up and go to work. I like my work, but the getting up part not so much.
I had a few involved encounters with death during my teen years.
After seeing people taken before they had a chance to enjoy life, and others who spent their entire life preparing for a retirement that never came, I always do my best to get the most out of life in the short term.
I don't often think about my mortality. But I try to not waste the time I have.
I'm going to the doctor today to find out if I have mono. Feels like I'll die tomorrow...