Are you looking for meaning? Looking for excitement? Do you want to make a difference in the name of good?
Join the Applepire (name in progress) today!
WHAT CAN THE APPLEPIRE DO FOR YOU?
*Protect you, your posts, and your family from orange supporters showing up out of nowhere to talk to you about vitamin C
*???
*Profit
WHAT KINDS OF JOBS ARE WAITING FOR YOU?
We need:
*Moderators (must control less than 20 subs)
*Posters (must be proficient in English, Esperanto, and a secret language @jobes and I made up)
*Pie and cider factory workers
*The guy who legally only does laundry for @jobes but really does some other stuff that legally has nothing to do with us paying you to do it
*The guy who poops in the tank in @unruly's toilet so that when he flushes all the water is brown and he has to fish it out of the tank (last one got shot; must be bulletproof)
WHY SUPPORT APPLES?
*Apples aren't just fruit. They're hope. Hope that can be picked right from a tree and eaten raw, baked into a pie, fermented into a cider, or even used for some medicinal purposes depending on the century
*Oranges are the devils fruit. More than likely they are the actual forbidden fruit from Judeo-Christian mythology, and the sole reason mankind is doomed. If we get everyone to stop eating them maybe God will let us back in.
*Apples will always be there for you. I once suffered severe depression, and without apples, I likely would have taken my own life. But it was through their juicy goodness that I was able to find value in my own life again, and get on the path to self-improvement. I now have a kid, 3 wives, a job, a mansion, and a Chevy Equinox. All thanks to apples.
*Oranges will betray you. Nearly all adulatory is committed with oranges involved in some way. Don't let it ruin your marriage.
JOIN THE APPLEPIRE TODAY!
Inquire below
mmmmmm sorta more of a tomatoes guy myself