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The Unanimous Declaration of the Empire of SoapDoxBanHammer

When in the course of subhuman events, it becomes necessary for shitposters to dissolve the political bands which have connected them to another, and to assume among the powers of the internet, the separate but equal stations to which the laws of nature and the mole God entitle them, a decent respect for the opinions of Phuks requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all shitposters are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are doxxing, shitposting, and crispy tendies, that to secure these rights subphuks are instituted among basement dwellers deriving their just powermods from whoever came up with the sub name first, that whenever any form of shitposting forum becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to throw a digital hissy fit until the admins do whatever we want.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that admins long established should not be changed for light and transient causes. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object envinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such badmins, and provide new guards for their future shitposting. Such has been the impatient suffering of the SDBH empire, and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former system of adminship. The history of the present admin @Polsaker is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of absolute tyranny over SDBH. To prove this, let facts and feelings be submitted to a candid world.

He has disallowed external links in CSS

He has limited the CSS image space to 2 megabytes

He has limited post flairs to 25 characters

He put helicopters in the CSS

He was mean

He was a big dumb stupid doo-doo head

In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. Also he's a tyrant or something.

I, therefore, the self-declared Emperor of SoapDoxBanHammer, mod of SDBH Phuks and SDBH Voat, SoapDoxBroccoliHammer, SoapDoxOpenBorders, and supreme ruler of SDBH Discord, appealing to tthe supreme judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by authority of the good people of the empire, solemnly publish and declare, that this sub and the SDBH empire as a whole is, and of right ought to be free and independent, that they are absolved from all allegiance to @Polsaker and the admin brigade, and that all political connection between them and the state of Phuks LLC, is and ought to be totally dissolved, and that as a free empire, they have full power to shitpost, post shit, brigade, dox, astroturf, upphuk farm, and to do all other acts and things which an independent shitposting forum might do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred honor.

The Unanimous Declaration of the Empire of SoapDoxBanHammer When in the course of subhuman events, it becomes necessary for shitposters to dissolve the political bands which have connected them to another, and to assume among the powers of the internet, the separate but equal stations to which the laws of nature and the mole God entitle them, a decent respect for the opinions of Phuks requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all shitposters are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are doxxing, shitposting, and crispy tendies, that to secure these rights subphuks are instituted among basement dwellers deriving their just powermods from whoever came up with the sub name first, that whenever any form of shitposting forum becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to throw a digital hissy fit until the admins do whatever we want. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that admins long established should not be changed for light and transient causes. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object envinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such badmins, and provide new guards for their future shitposting. Such has been the impatient suffering of the SDBH empire, and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former system of adminship. The history of the present admin @Polsaker is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of absolute tyranny over SDBH. To prove this, let facts and feelings be submitted to a candid world. He has disallowed external links in CSS He has limited the CSS image space to 2 megabytes He has limited post flairs to 25 characters He put helicopters in the CSS He was mean He was a big dumb stupid doo-doo head In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. Also he's a tyrant or something. I, therefore, the self-declared Emperor of SoapDoxBanHammer, mod of SDBH Phuks and SDBH Voat, SoapDoxBroccoliHammer, SoapDoxOpenBorders, and supreme ruler of SDBH Discord, appealing to tthe supreme judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by authority of the good people of the empire, solemnly publish and declare, that this sub and the SDBH empire as a whole is, and of right ought to be free and independent, that they are absolved from all allegiance to @Polsaker and the admin brigade, and that all political connection between them and the state of Phuks LLC, is and ought to be totally dissolved, and that as a free empire, they have full power to shitpost, post shit, brigade, dox, astroturf, upphuk farm, and to do all other acts and things which an independent shitposting forum might do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred honor.

5 comments

[–] jobes 4 points (+4|-0)

that all shitposters are created equal

That's a fucking lie lmao

[–] E-werd 3 points (+3|-0)

He was a big dumb stupid doo-doo head

Hear, hear!