---Low Moan--- THIS IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT FUCKING GOD DAMMIT

posted by Mattvision Tryin to make a change :/ on soapdoxbanhammer

THIS IS BULLSHIT IT'S ALL BULLSHIT

They said that if I didn't have sex until I turned 20 then I would obtain fearsome wizard powers.

WELL, as much of a pantie dropper as I am, I have held off my entire life.

Now I'm 20, and I just tried using my powers to kill everyone I went to high school with. BUT YA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I CHECKED FACEBOOK TODAY?!

NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM WAS EATEN BY A POLAR BEAR!

THIS WHOLE FUCKING THING IS A BIG GIANT SCAM, THERE ARE NO WIZARD POWERS AT THE END, IT'S ALL JUST LIES, I COULD HAVE BEEN HAVING SEX ALL THIS TIME AND I GET NOTHING

I was so excited. Do you know what I could have done with those powers? I could have conquered the world. I could have ushered in a global utopia for all mankind. But I guess it was all a pipe dream this whole time.

Don't let others be like me. Warn them of my failure. Let it be known far and wide so that others may be spared the suffering I have endured.

THIS IS BULLSHIT IT'S ALL BULLSHIT They said that if I didn't have sex until I turned 20 then I would obtain fearsome wizard powers. WELL, as much of a pantie dropper as I am, I have held off my entire life. Now I'm 20, and I just tried using my powers to kill everyone I went to high school with. BUT YA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I CHECKED FACEBOOK TODAY?! NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM WAS EATEN BY A POLAR BEAR! **THIS WHOLE FUCKING THING IS A BIG GIANT SCAM, THERE ARE NO WIZARD POWERS AT THE END, IT'S ALL JUST LIES, I COULD HAVE BEEN HAVING SEX ALL THIS TIME AND I GET NOTHING** I was so excited. Do you know what I could have done with those powers? I could have conquered the world. I could have ushered in a global utopia for all mankind. But I guess it was all a pipe dream this whole time. Don't let others be like me. Warn them of my failure. Let it be known far and wide so that others may be spared the suffering I have endured.

6 comments

[–] pembo210 55 gallon drum of lube 3 points (+3|-0)

wizard powers don't kill people, wizards do

[–] [Deleted] 2 points (+2|-0)

But has he discovered the powers of "bathing and grooming" yet.

[–] E-werd 1 points (+1|-0)

Edited

#NotAllWizards

[–] oddjob 2 points (+2|-0)

30, you get wizard powers at 30. You're over 2/3 of the way there, don't give up now.

[–] Mattvision [OP] Tryin to make a change :/ 1 points (+1|-0)

DAMMIT, YOU'RE RIGHT!

Well shit, I had sex just yesterday. Oh well. I'll try again in my next life.

[–] GuyIDisagreeWith 1 points (+1|-0)

Squib.

---Low Moan--- THIS IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT FUCKING GOD DAMMIT

6 comments

#NotAllWizards

/s/soapdoxbanhammer