You know I been snooping around on here lately and I’m seeing a lot of posts from old geezers and their family woes when their wife gets mad because he passed his great-great-grandfather’s fleshlight down to his son. I mean yeah sure, it’s a nice sentiment, but your great-great-grandfather’s fleshlight is just a leather sleeve that's so tough you have to use vaseline. I mean you guys have to get with the times. There’s a whole world of new fleshlight tech that you old geezers aren’t even aware exist. You ever heard of starlink old man? What about the starlink of fleshlights times 20? Yeah that’s right. The LELO F1S Developer’s Kit Red. This thing is new generation shit. It’s got 5G waves that massage your dopamine receptors. I mean you can pair to this thing on an app from your phone and it looks like a nuclear control center. You can blast your dick with pulses of god-defying amplitude at a frequency so high you can get second degree burns on your dick if you don’t lube up properly. I’ve literally been paralyzed from this thing. I hit the “NUCLEAR” switch on my phone and it feels like I’m getting Little Boy and Fat Man detonated on my cock at the same time. This is way better than your rinky-dinky lady pink. This is weapons grade. CNCed aluminum outer casing is so strong it could stop a bullet. It doubles as a great sports jock. Sometimes I like to slip it on before the weekly basketball game with the neighborhood kids. It gives me complete confidence and protection from the possibility of some shit nosed kid biting my junk when I slam dunk my nuts onto his face from the kiddie three-line. Plus, if I ever need a pep-up, I can hit the "NUCLEAR" switch on my phone and blast my cock into outer space during my next shift on the court.
You old geezers gotta get with the program. Buy one of these things now old man, it will change your life. Invest your life savings into this stuff because this is the future.
Does it come with a lifetime prescription of Viagra? If so, I'm in!