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I recently read a bunch of popular self-help books to see what the fuss was all about. Here's my takeaway from it.

posted by KillBill on books

While all these books contain some nuggets of wisdom, I found a lot of them were wanting to tell me how to be and act and that, to me, is a recipe for unhappiness in itself. Very few of these books stressed to be yourself and I found that to be a huge omission.
Listening to others also seems to a key theme and rings true to me from my experiences as well. If you look someone in the eyes and engage with them you can get a long way into a relationship without ever having to say much at all. This won't work with people of substance though because they will feel distrustful if you make a habit of taking and not giving. It's not something I recommend to anyone really wanting to form a good relationship with someone.
Most of it all boiled down to achieving things equating with contentment and satisfaction. Whether that was picking up that girl/s, doing that weekend project or succeeding in your career, it was all the same theme. I can see why video games and, in particular, MMO's have become that crack for people looking for an achievement fix.
Most of the advice here is rooted in eastern religious doctrines and philosophies. You could easily substitute most of them for books of this type and be better off in your time spent. Listen to Alan Watts for few hours and you have a lot of these authors pegged.
I can't help shake the feeling that the type of people who read these books are the type of people who just aren't naturally inclined to think the way the books want them to and therefore will become, as one book put it; self-help junkies.
If I had my time again I would probably re-read Lord of the Rings but I did have a lot of fun applying some of the techniques to real life situations and did learn a bit. Hopefully I don't forget it too quickly.

- While all these books contain some nuggets of wisdom, I found a lot of them were wanting to tell me how to be and act and that, to me, is a recipe for unhappiness in itself. Very few of these books stressed to be yourself and I found that to be a huge omission. - Listening to others also seems to a key theme and rings true to me from my experiences as well. If you look someone in the eyes and engage with them you can get a long way into a relationship without ever having to say much at all. This won't work with people of substance though because they will feel distrustful if you make a habit of taking and not giving. It's not something I recommend to anyone really wanting to form a good relationship with someone. - Most of it all boiled down to achieving things equating with contentment and satisfaction. Whether that was picking up that girl/s, doing that weekend project or succeeding in your career, it was all the same theme. I can see why video games and, in particular, MMO's have become that crack for people looking for an achievement fix. - Most of the advice here is rooted in eastern religious doctrines and philosophies. You could easily substitute most of them for books of this type and be better off in your time spent. Listen to Alan Watts for few hours and you have a lot of these authors pegged. - I can't help shake the feeling that the type of people who read these books are the type of people who just aren't naturally inclined to think the way the books want them to and therefore will become, as one book put it; self-help junkies. - If I had my time again I would probably re-read Lord of the Rings but I did have a lot of fun applying some of the techniques to real life situations and did learn a bit. Hopefully I don't forget it too quickly.

7 comments

[–] keebyjeeby 1 points (+1|-0)

Could you list the books and any specific criticism?

[–] KillBill [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Could you list the books

Ok so I don't have the best memory for these things but:

The subtle art of not giving a fuck - Mark Manson

Some popular pick up book - Mark Manson

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem - Some famous psychologist

Do Talk to Strangers - Some woman from Dubbo, Australia

How to win friends and influence people - That guy

any specific criticism

Just what is said above. The Mark Manson books are maybe good for young people to relate to.

[–] [Deleted] 1 points (+1|-0)

Why did you recently read a bunch of popular self-help books?

[–] KillBill [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

It's in the title. :P

But I like to see what is influencing my kids too. A couple of them are what I saw them read.

[–] jobes 1 points (+1|-0)

This won't work with people of substance though

What is a person of substance?

[–] KillBill [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Basically I see it as someone you can respect and is willing to respect you as well. Someone who wont buy bullshit and won't sell you any either.

[–] CDanger 1 points (+1|-0)

I can't help shake the feeling that the type of people who read these books are the type of people who just aren't naturally inclined to think the way the books want them to and therefore will become, as one book put it; self-help junkies.

It's not politically correct to say this, but lots of research shows that many personality traits are largely immutable and stable. Some types of people will in general succeed despite difficult conditions, and others will fail even if handed the world on a platter.