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This spring, a pair of fucking Grackles moved into the over hang by my back door. I didn't notice it first because the weather was so fucking shitty that I avoided going out into the miserable snow, so I didn't have a chance to kick them out before they laid eggs. As the weather improved, I gradually spent more time outside and the squawking bastards made themselves known whenever we used the back door. Since they obviously had some babies hiding in the nest, I decided that I wasn't going to be a douche bag and evict the baby birds. So we dealt with constant squawking for a while, and I would occasionally fuck with them by playing back their own calls and hawk calls.

Well, the babies have left the nest, and the fucking squawking has increased.

So I decided to fuck with them.

I now have a wide variety of their songs, and I play them every few days while i sit in my lawn chair with a nerf gun. I patiently wait, watching the entrance to their nest. When one of those annoying shitbags lands near my roof, I shoot at it with the dart gun. At first, it spooked the fuck out of them and ever since they have been super quiet and cautious while I'm outside. I haven't hit any yet, but I am bound and determined to defeat the fucking Grackles living in my roof.
This spring, a pair of fucking Grackles moved into the over hang by my back door. I didn't notice it first because the weather was so fucking shitty that I avoided going out into the miserable snow, so I didn't have a chance to kick them out before they laid eggs. As the weather improved, I gradually spent more time outside and the squawking bastards made themselves known whenever we used the back door. Since they obviously had some babies hiding in the nest, I decided that I wasn't going to be a douche bag and evict the baby birds. So we dealt with constant squawking for a while, and I would occasionally fuck with them by playing back their own calls and hawk calls. Well, the babies have left the nest, and the fucking squawking has increased. So I decided to fuck with them. I now have a wide variety of their songs, and I play them every few days while i sit in my lawn chair with a nerf gun. I patiently wait, watching the entrance to their nest. When one of those annoying shitbags lands near my roof, I shoot at it with the dart gun. At first, it spooked the fuck out of them and ever since they have been super quiet and cautious while I'm outside. I haven't hit any yet, but I am bound and determined to defeat the fucking Grackles living in my roof.

3 comments

[–] ScorpioGlitch 2 points (+2|-0)

Every year I have a mockingbird nest by one of my windows (this year there's a cardinal nest too). I can mimic one of the few calls that all mockingbirds make and it thoroughly confuses the little baby birds. They think mom or dad is back and they start waggling their heads around and squawking. It's hilarious... right up until it's time for them to leave the nest and they're outside a window and scream the first time I walk by. A quick "SHUT UP" quiets them right down.

[–] E-werd 1 points (+1|-0)

Years ago when I still lived with my parents, my mom put this grape vine decoration around the door on the front porch. The birds eventually figured out it was a great place to build a next, right above the door. Eventually this robin moved in, made a nest and laid eggs. We sat on the porch a lot, so we'd be out there and see her come to the far side of the porch on the railing. She was very sheepish about going to the nest when we were there, many times she would just sit on the utility line and chirp at us. If we went inside or walked away from the porch outside she would fly right up in and tend to her nest. That bird came back for about 5 years, the same damn robin. She had a specific tone to her call and they way she would do it, we could always pick her out among the neighborhood robins.
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