6

I tell ya, kids these days got no respect, no respect.

posted by [Deleted] on Whatever

It’s like you guys just don’t get me. My Austrian great great great grandpa banged a Scottish chick making me 99% Purebred Irish according to Red Sox law, provided I obnoxiously bring up Bill Buckner and game 6 of the 1986 world series every time the Bosox play.

This of course is all contingent upon the idea that I pretend David Ortiz is the greatest baseball player that ever lived when you bring your black friend to my BBQ and challenge him to a rap battle. You see, you’re not allowed to call me racist, because racism requires hitting power plus a New York Yankees hat.

There are some exceptions to this rule though:. If I’m not showing the three required tattoos visibly at all times and my bosox hat isn’t the fitted kind, worn backwards.

The three required tattoos are:

The red sox logo (it’s tribal, don’t ask)
The four leaf clover (WTF is a shamrock, are you talking smack about kid rock bro?) 3…And the dude from the lucky charms box or the notre dame mascot (It saves time while others try to figure out if you’re a happy drunk or a fighting one)

Since Mel Gibson came out as secretly Irish in his biography Braveheart, it’s manly when I wear a kilt so long as I go commando, march in parades, and remember to bring my trusty bag of pipes to strenuously blow on. I will not have my proud Irish, Scottish, English, German, Welsh, Greek, Scandinavian, Slovenian, and Israeli heritage disrespected. So dear trannies. My culture IS NOT your costume and you shouldn’t be using it to steal my Facebook points.

Do you really think we’ll let you invade Boston (Home of only the hardcorest 99% Irish Americans) and March through the streets in dresses w/ your junk hanging out carrying a bag of dicks and making terrible noise?

It’s like you’re not culturally sensitive at all. If you had any empathy you’d add food coloring to your macaroni and cheese and boycott corn. It makes Japanese people nervously look up b/c they suspect your micro-transgression of consuming little yellow foods is indicative of your desire to nuke them again.

It’s like you guys just don’t get me. My Austrian great great great grandpa banged a Scottish chick making me 99% Purebred Irish according to Red Sox law, provided I obnoxiously bring up Bill Buckner and game 6 of the 1986 world series every time the Bosox play. This of course is all contingent upon the idea that I pretend David Ortiz is the greatest baseball player that ever lived when you bring your black friend to my BBQ and challenge him to a rap battle. You see, you’re not allowed to call me racist, because racism requires hitting power plus a New York Yankees hat. There are some exceptions to this rule though:. If I’m not showing the three required tattoos visibly at all times and my bosox hat isn’t the fitted kind, worn backwards. The three required tattoos are: 1. The red sox logo (it’s tribal, don’t ask) 2. The four leaf clover (WTF is a shamrock, are you talking smack about kid rock bro?) 3…And the dude from the lucky charms box or the notre dame mascot (It saves time while others try to figure out if you’re a happy drunk or a fighting one) Since Mel Gibson came out as secretly Irish in his biography Braveheart, it’s manly when I wear a kilt so long as I go commando, march in parades, and remember to bring my trusty bag of pipes to strenuously blow on. I will not have my proud Irish, Scottish, English, German, Welsh, Greek, Scandinavian, Slovenian, and Israeli heritage disrespected. So dear trannies. My culture IS NOT your costume and you shouldn’t be using it to steal my Facebook points. Do you really think we’ll let you invade Boston (Home of only the hardcorest 99% Irish Americans) and March through the streets in dresses w/ your junk hanging out carrying a bag of dicks and making terrible noise? It’s like you’re not culturally sensitive at all. If you had any empathy you’d add food coloring to your macaroni and cheese and boycott corn. It makes Japanese people nervously look up b/c they suspect your micro-transgression of consuming little yellow foods is indicative of your desire to nuke them again.

1 comments

[–] Owlchemy 1 points (+1|-0)

I have no idea what you've written here in your drunken rampage, but then I'm no fan of baseball. Like you, I'm a Heinz 57 American with a melting pot type muttage, but football is (or was before the kneeling shit) my game. Go Eagles, who finally after an endless streak of almost made it or worse, mostly worse, won the Super Bowl in the year I was boycotting the NFL and watching lowly college games. Maybe that's an omen in itself.

Anyway, go Eagles, green and white in honor of my 'wee' Irish heritage brought to me my a maternal grandfather with a German last name but from a family that was otherwise Irish American and married a German girl. And my mother, of German and Irish heritage then married a man with a Bosnian/Croatian last name who was born to a Bosnian/Croatian and an Austrian mother adding greatly to my cultural background. So I'm a mutt ... a blond haired (mostly gray now), blue eyed mutt with Bosnian, Croatian, German, Austrian, and Irish heritage, and probably a few others along the way, but who's counting. And I appropriate any cultures I want, whenever the mood suits me, as, if it wasn't for white dudes like me and those who I descend from, all those folks who won't allow me to appropriate their cultures wouldn't be flying on jet planes or plugging in their hair dryers in a nearby outlet, so there ... take that and quit appropriating my culture!