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  • Electric Toothbrush. (Took my cigarette stains off my teeth and reduces morning and nightly brush time. a good one is about 100 bucks. Circular ones are best)

  • Electric Foot File. (Takes about 20 minutes to do both feet and feels amazing, gets rid of fungus and dry feet issues. Reduces foot pain and calluses. Usually 70 bucks but the markup is huge they can go on sale for 20-30 bucks.)

  • No Oil Face Wash (10 bucks. By it and use very little. gets rid of acne and tightens pores. 10 bucks)

For work:

  • Baby wipes (They make your ass clean after that morning poop, and you can use them on your face to get rid of any dirt or oils from your lunch.) When asked how he stayed so fresh Brad Pitt said his secret was baby wipes... they fucking work.

  • Anti Bacterial toilet wipes (when you're going to sit down and take your poop, wipe down the seat with one first. It'll prevent the transfer of bacteria from other peoples bums.... which I shouldn't need to say is a great thing to avoid)
- Electric Toothbrush. (Took my cigarette stains off my teeth and reduces morning and nightly brush time. a good one is about 100 bucks. Circular ones are best) - Electric Foot File. (Takes about 20 minutes to do both feet and feels amazing, gets rid of fungus and dry feet issues. Reduces foot pain and calluses. Usually 70 bucks but the markup is huge they can go on sale for 20-30 bucks.) - No Oil Face Wash (10 bucks. By it and use very little. gets rid of acne and tightens pores. 10 bucks) For work: - Baby wipes (They make your ass clean after that morning poop, and you can use them on your face to get rid of any dirt or oils from your lunch.) When asked how he stayed so fresh Brad Pitt said his secret was baby wipes... they fucking work. - Anti Bacterial toilet wipes (when you're going to sit down and take your poop, wipe down the seat with one first. It'll prevent the transfer of bacteria from other peoples bums.... which I shouldn't need to say is a great thing to avoid)

5 comments

[–] InnocentBystander 2 points (+2|-0)

Baby wipes

I had a friend that claims he once made it five years without ever taking a shit for free. Every time he squatted it was at work, on the clock.
He even calculated how much he earned annually by shitting.
That man had life figured out, sounds like you do too.

(They make your ass clean after that morning poop, and you can use them on your face to get rid of any dirt or oils from your lunch.)

But, uh.. not the same one right?
[–] [Deleted] 1 points (+1|-0)

LOL you think just like me!!! I was actually thinking I'll mention not the same one as a joke. Yes! use different ones! I used to work 12 hour continental shifts as a machine operator and I'd take two out of my locker and a fungicide wipe for the toilet seat. I'd wash my hands however before grabbing one again for my face.
[–] E-werd 1 points (+1|-0) Edited

I'll do you one better: a bidet. I got one on amazon for around $30 over a year ago and I've never looked back. I'd like a fancier one, but this is just fine for now. It installs right under the toilet seat and has the hardware to hook it into the water line.

There's nothing better than a clean butthole.
[–] [Deleted] 0 points (+0|-0)

a clean butthole is a good butthole lol... 30 bucks eh? can you reply with the model you bought? I might be down to try it out at that price.
[–] E-werd 1 points (+1|-0)

Here, $34.97 USD: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/

This is the exact model that I have and use. It can be a little weird in the winter if you live in a colder climate like me (Pennsylvania) but you get used to it. Pro tip: ease on the water very, very slowly. When I say slow, I mean SLOW. You'll get muscle memory eventually, take it slow until then.

It's weird at first, but it's great once you really understand how to use it. It's amazing how they know exactly where your butthole is located.
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