America has a record high stockpile of cheese at 1.385 billion pounds

the East North Central region of the United States

what the fuck does that mean? upstate new york?

'Merica, Fuck Yeah!

But how much cabbage do we have stockpiled? That's the important question.

If it goes mouldy will it worth more?

According to the Washington Post, the cheese stockpile is so high because there's too much milk on hand for processors, and milk is more easily stored as cheese. Combine that wil school being out and cows being more productive, you get the record number.

Dat Detroit Education....