One.

After I took my last shit I slept an hour later. While I was sleeping I was interrupted by the thunderous roar and the pain of my stomach. I could feel a big one coming. **PRRRRRRRRRRRRRT** I had the shits! It was terrible. The first issue was that the toilet bowl was empty of water. Somehow the bowl emptied itself (must be on an angle to the point where the water tips). I didn't have enough time to refill the bowl. I laid down toilet paper and shat on nothing. No splashback. Pure stink. It sucked. I was probably on the throne for around 15 minutes. By the time I stood to look at my masterpiece it looked like cow shit, but in a more miniature human-like form. It fucked up my sleep as well. I had some shit on early this morning. What could have been a 6 hour sleep was easily reduced by an hour because of this. FUck.