Drummers...

I'm gonna post this one here. Drummers... If you can find a drummer that can count higher than four, you'll know why they're not a bass player! My drummer said, at a band meeting no less, that they found us a place we could play. I was like, "Sweet. You should do this more often and take some of my load off!" In my defense, I was probably stoned. I fucking knew better than to trust a drummer! The place he wants us to play hasn't actually said they want us to play there and he's not actually spoken to the owner of the venue - ever. But, he knows some of the staff and passed them a demo. (Want to get noticed, put your demo on a USB stick and just give them to the right people.) So, he's going to meet the venue owner and they both want me to be there. I don't actually need to be there. No... No, if it's a tough decision he can take some damned pictures and send them to me! I have a phone! But, they both want me there. If they need me to sign something, I have a fucking fax machine! I'm pretty sure he can sign it himself and it's legally binding! Worse, he wants to pick me up, "Sometime around 4:00." It gets dark at like 7:15, by the way. There goes dinner - entirely unexpectedly. My plan was to do pretty much nothing, which seems to be my downfall. People ask me, "What are you doing?" Being relatively honest, I tell 'em that I'm doing nothing. They think this is an obvious oversight - and ask me to do something. Because I'm retarded, I frequently agree. So, if there's a lesson in all this, it's that when people ask what you're doing, you should probably lie to them!