Yep. It's not for everyone. I can understand your reaction, too. No BDSM relationship should be launched on an ad hoc basis. The parties need serious discussion on all aspects of the realtionship and all BDSM activities. Seriously. You need to form a "Contract" with the other party. It's not a situation one can treat as a game. Especially someone new. My guess is she found some bdsm porn that just did it for her and all she wanted was the sex (however that would be expressed). 50 shades, maybe?
That movie is a study in sexual abuse and stalking. It is not BDSM.
Her role was bordeline abusive to my eyes. There were obviously aspects that you hadn't agreed upon and her unilateral changes to the status quo exacerbated the situation. Both conditions are understandable reasons to drop the other party like a hot brick. You're better off away from that.
Things may have been okay if the talk had happened. Start with a just ittle bit. If it works out, maybe re-evaluate after some time you agree on and perhaps add something new to your agreement.
I discovered a liking for being bound while in college. Everything afterwards sprang from that seed and my luck meeting a man who could dominate me. Dominance was something I didn't realize I needed. I've met a lot of pushy, bossy, wannabe alpha males who think women should drop and spread before their magnificence. I've always been hell on wheels independent and have taken pleasure in responding to those idiots with scathing, but still cordial and polite, public (their venue, not mine) "shoot downs."
Meeting him was different. His personality, presence, and manners captivated me before we became more than acquaintances. When he asked, I said yes. Zero thought went into that answer. It was there waiting for the question. That's when I realized that I'm a submissive by nature. We laid out everything and had the talk.
I was so wrong about being solitary, but feel it was necessay to manage my life before I met him. It sure would have been easier and cheaper to give up on college and my hopes for my career than it was to waitress seven days a week in 2-3 diners.
We're happy. We like the things we do. If either of us wants to introduce something new or drop something, it doesn't happen unless we both agree on the change.
See you later, Jobes.
Anne.
This was back a while ago before 50 shades. She said that she thought her interest stemmed from being abused and molested as a child. It was a very odd situation to be in. I should have talked to my brother about it, he happens to be well known in the world of sex psychology, but it never crossed my mind to ask him about it.
I'm happy you found a guy who meets your needs. Frankly all i'm looking for these days is a girl that wants to get dirty by going out in the garden. I dated some...wild characters in my past and realized that honestly all I really want is something simple.
Im sorry she experienced that. Ive seen that go either way - frigid or maniac - or have no effect at all. Looking at my life i cant find a reason for loving it so much. Not even the shibari. As a child my passions were disassembling anything I could get ahold of to see what it all did, and trying to invent a battery that never ran out - i started pretty young wanted to know technology.
Hehehe, i garden in ny. I tried cucumbers this year but it was too late in the season and i didn't get any fruit. I can things, too. I put up tons of blueberries as syrup or whole and also canned a lot of tomato sauce this year. Maybe next year i can ask someone to start cucumbers and tomatoes on time for me and then take care of them when we get back.
Sorry for the goofy looking post. I fell out of bed last night a sprained an elbow pretty bad. The ER trip was memorable lols
Browser posts are all lowercase. Stuff from this tablet gets an initial cap.
Yeah, true desires sneak up on you. I had mine about zero relationships until I was working and earning my keep.
Ill be around but might not be as chatty.
Take care,
Anne.
From personal experience, if this doesn't appeal to you before you look into it, then it likely will never appeal to you. I tried my best with an ex who was super into it, and it just led to me not wanting to see her anymore. It was such a pain in the ass and just not enjoyable at all for me. I didn't seek it, it was dropped on me and i tried. Never again