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We live in a world of small-talk. That pisses me off. Our species has not only evolved the ability to understand abstract concepts, but to communicate them through the half-assed manipulation of our mouth-flaps and fingertips.

We squander this gift of communication when we ask questions we already have answers for, or worse yet, if we seek answers to questions we don't even care about.

Here's how this sub works: Ask a thought-provoking question to start a discussion, or make a challenging statement to start a debate. Your goal should not be to make jokes, ask leading questions, fill the air, or to troll people. My goal with this sub is to host meaningful discourse when it can be found, and none at all when it can not.

So with all that said, I'll start us off: How often do you practice small-talk? Why do you think we practice it at all? At what point (if at all) does it become harmful?
We live in a world of small-talk. That pisses me off. Our species has not only evolved the ability to understand abstract concepts, but to communicate them through the half-assed manipulation of our mouth-flaps and fingertips. We squander this gift of communication when we ask questions we already have answers for, or worse yet, if we seek answers to questions we don't even care about. Here's how this sub works: **Ask a thought-provoking question to start a discussion, or make a challenging statement to start a debate.** Your goal should not be to make jokes, ask leading questions, fill the air, or to troll people. My goal with this sub is to host meaningful discourse when it can be found, and none at all when it can not. So with all that said, I'll start us off: How often do you practice small-talk? Why do you think we practice it at all? At what point (if at all) does it become harmful?

8 comments

[–] InnocentBystander 1 points (+1|-0)

I'm not entirely sure where the line for small talk is. Generally I don't engage in empty banter, eg weather and other pleasantries that nobody really cares about.
However I am open to meaningless or pointless conversation when it's entertaining.

I am not uncomfortable with silence, so I have no compulsion to fill it, or feelings of awkwardness when it happens. But since many people do I have leaned to just ask them questions about them until I find something I might be interested in talking about. Everyone enjoys talking about themselves, it puts them at ease and is a good ice-breaker.

Why do you think we practice it at all?

Many people are uncomfortable with silence. I think extroverts the most, but many introverts as well. I don't have much understanding of it.

At what point (if at all) does it become harmful?

It can be taken too far. Some people can use empty exchanges to hide who they are. It can be a type of camouflage. That may be part of while people are comforted by it.
For the most part, I don't think it is harmful. But it can contain elements of dishonesty, or manipulation.

[–] Sarcastaway [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

I'm not entirely sure where the line for small talk is.

"Empty banter" is a good definition.

However I am open to meaningless or pointless conversation when it's entertaining.

I'd argue that if you place value in entertainment, that makes an entertaining discussion worth having! I'm all for shooting the shit with people, so long as it doesn't replace a more important discussion you could be having with them. Only then do I consider such a thing "empty," or harmful.

[–] MirrorMan 1 points (+1|-0)

The people I naturally would avoid LOVE to talk about themselves. Think co-workers or casual acquaintances or some family. Small talk is a token effort where I don't end up fully engaged and can shrug off things they say that would otherwise irritate me. As a result I network well and am well liked merely for occupying space and listening. Not a bad deal. I'm an introvert so I gel better with other introverts who usually aren't prone to making constant small talk. We have less total time of interaction but cover more varied ground.
[–] Dabmanz 1 points (+1|-0)

From my understanding small talk is not harmful in anyway though I guess if it involves abusing someone for not listening it can but I see that as another variable and not part of just small talk in general.
[–] Sarcastaway [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

I only consider it harmful when it replaces important discussion. Otherwise I just find it annoying.

Everyone (myself included) makes small-talk. It's usually harmless. I do get frustrated when (for example) people would rather talk about the weather, than talk about world events, or even just their feelings.

"Important discussion" is very subjective, but that's fine with me. I guess the root of my frustration is that some people place importance in what are (IMO) completely useless or trivial things.
[–] [Deleted] 0 points (+1|-1)

"Oh, man." "It is what it is." "You get it." "If I even have to explain it ...?"

Are these examples of inappropriate content?
[–] Sarcastaway [OP] 0 points (+0|-0)

inappropriate content?

In regard to small-talk, or to this sub? Either way, I say they're fine.

I think those examples would be considered platitudes, or maybe cliches. Nothing wrong with using them (unless you're an author). A few of those can be very useful for exiting a conversation you find tedious.

Small-talk in my mind is when you start a discussion about the weather, sports, ect when you could just as easily remain silent. To be clear, small-talk is not inherently bad. Its just a useless thing us humans do out of habit, or discomfort. IMO, this becomes harmful when we use small-talk to avoid discussing "real" or important topics.
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