Piss off ya cross eyed bitch!

The family were gathered at my folks place for some special occasion and I’d even driven up to collect Granddad (or Pa as we be lovingly refer to him as) who was well into his 80s. He’d been a drinker and smoker most his life as was the tradition back then. Although he’d given them up (for the most part anyway) they’d taken their toll on his health and he had a pretty bad combo of asthma and emphysema. (Bodes well for me if he’s already beaten the odds with those bad habits and I’ve fortunately avoided some) Essentially meant he’d get puffed just from sitting down half the time the poor bastard. Anyway the folks have this tiny dog - a female Jack Russell - who is friendly as all hell but a huge sook always crying for attention. Adorable. Never barks or growls at anyone bar the poor posty who’s probably used to the discrimination dogs seem to have for his ilk. Pa gets a tour of the folks new garden and comes back inside to sit down. Having just done the equivalent of a marathon to his body he groans as he sits down and starts his heavy breathing which sounds like a cross between a deflated bag pipe and a growl. >“HRRHGHH... HRGGHHR... HRGGHGHH...” We already are having a chuckle at his expense at this point when the little dog comes up and sits down in front of him wagging her tail between his breath and pausing when he does his exhale come groan. Already a few of us are pointing it out when at this point the dog starts growling back in reply to every exhale. >“HRRGHGHH” exhaled Pa, >“GRRRRLLL” growled the dog, >“HRRGHGH”, >“GRRRRLL” By now everyone is laughing at this spectacle. Even Pa between struggled breaths is stifling a chuckle which only served to aggravate the problem. In attempt to gain control of his breathing, the dog, and the family having a laugh at his expense, he let’s loose one of his favourites: “Piss off ya cross eyed bitch!”