They posted here with an advertisement post for their tour a few days ago and it got downvoted for spam.
Since then, several of their UK shows were cancelled by venues, and they are apparently suing them.
If whoever is behind the /u/dwarfanators account has some relation or is in the dwarfanators, it would be cool if you'd do an AMA.
I hired rentamidget to clean my gutters. What a waste of money.
Sure, it might seem that on first blush...
Imagine 4 or 5 midgets, doing slapstick, climbing ladders and cleaning your gutters!
Oh, man! I bet you can get 5 midgets on a 12' ladder! They'd be falling off, climbing over each other, and probably singing merry work tunes while they clean the gutter!
My working theory is that people who don't see the beauty in rented midgets just don't have a very good imagination! They're broken inside.
Even washing the dishes!
Imagine 4 or 5 rented midgets "helping" to wash the dishes! Shit yeah!
Funerals?
I don't know about you, but paying rented midgets to grieve at my funeral sounds pretty much like the best idea in the history of best ideas! They should wail, gnash their teeth, wear sackcloth and ashes, and probably try to do all that while they serve drinks and snacks.
Tell me that'd not be more awesome! Hell no, that'd be damned awesome! I'm pretty sure it'd be just about the best day ever.
Imagine mowing the lawn?
Right, now imagine it with midgets.
They aren't tall enough to reach the pedals, so you'd have like three of 'em on your lawn tractor! I could load 'em in my bucket and drive them around with my real tractor! We could all eat mushrooms and have merry tractor races, but they'd have to use the lawn tractor 'cause midgets aren't really big enough to pilot adult tractors.
Sometimes, I'd even let them win our tractor races! I bet they'd be pretty happy about that and we'd laugh and laugh and laugh, having ourselves a very damned good day. It'd possibly be the best day ever.
I emailed the company a couple of times. They told me to stop contacting them. They refuse to rent midgets to me.
I remember hearing rumors that a fraternity at Georgia Tech used to hire midgets to be servers and entertainment for one of their annual parties. That also sounded like the only fun party that ever happened there.
I'm pretty sure something just reached out across the cosmos and touched me.
I had a very, very important announcement to make to Phuks.
I was thinking of a good sub to post it to.
I clicked on "All" instead of clicking on the SBBH - 'cause booze and maybe some drugs.
I saw THIS thread as the top most thread.
Do you know what my important announcement is?
http://rentamidget.com both exists AND rents midget!
Name one thing, just one thing, that can't be improved by adding rented midgets!
I dare you - nobody has been able to name one thing that can't be improved by adding rented midgets to it.
I'm pretty sure it's the most awesome thing on the planet - but I don't know, 'cause I have already emailed them and they've told me to stop emailing them. They refuse to rent midgets to me! They refused pretty quickly, actually. Suspiciously quickly!
I am still tempted to submit this valuable information for the people of Phuks! This is something everyone should know about.
Seriously...
I've had lots of people try to name things that aren't improved with rented midgets.
They were wrong - all of them.
There's no activity that's not improved with rented midgets (I'm pretty sure - but they don't rent me midgets). In my imagination, rented midgets are pretty sweet!